You know how couples love to tell “the story of us.” There are the “love at first” sight stories that usually involve a crowded bar or some burst of sudden rainfall, and then there are the stories where neither party can agree when or where they first met or who saw who first. Just that somehow they met and eventually… sort of fell in love. That’s because some relationships build slowly and others burn white hot right out of the gate.
My relationship with cancer was shot out of a cannon.
“So, yeah, this is Dr. Grosch. I got your test results here and wow, they are not good. You have tongue cancer.”
I wish I could say something dramatic happened; that my life flashed before me or that I had an inner calm or a peace or even a panic. I just remember staring across the street at J Crew wondering who would buy those crazy plaid shorts and pair them with black loafers. Who would do that?
“Don? Hey, Don? You still there? I guess I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that. I should have had you come in the office and told you in person. Yeah, this was wrong. You okay? I feel bad about this. You’re okay, right?”
Don? Meet cancer. Cancer? This is Don. I bet you two are really going to hit it off.
And we have. By necessity this bitch has become the all-consuming focus of my life. And don’t think I am using this analogy lightly, it is a relationship. A needy, co-dependant, emotionally and physically abusive relationship you can’t seem to get out of.
That awkward call came in April of last year. We pick up the action two surgeries, four weeks of radiation and one series of chemotherapy later.
This is an attempt to keep an honest, amusing, and uncensored account of what I am going through. There will be blog entries, random comments and our most popular feature – The Questions of the Day. Plus from time to time we will welcome guest commentators – real and imagined. So, yeah, basically anything I damn well please.
Some of you may be confused, shocked, or offended, but the hope is that at least you won’t be bored.
Feel free to comment, just as long as you are amusing, insightful and not boring. Otherwise you will indeed be deleted with extreme prejudice. Hey, I’m the sick one, I get to make the rules and anyway, I shouldn’t be the only one who feels pressure to be interesting.