So, my lovely wife and I had a fight. She feels I am not giving a fair representation of the last few days. She fears I am portraying them like this:
Okay, it hasn’t been quite that bad. So, in an effort to be fair and balanced… remember a time when the world was young? Before bullies brought guns and knives to school and cyber-harassed people on Facebook?
A big fat kid, who would push you down on the ground and sit on your stomach. And then he would bounce up and down on your stomach while repeatedly shouting “vomit-vomit-vomit.”
For me this always seemed to take place shortly after I had just consumed one of those semi-spoiled 72 degree cartons of milk at snack.
So, my life right now is somewhere between “a complete and total barf-o-rama” and “a fat kid bouncing on my stomach full of spoiled milk.”
And there you have it, fair and balanced reporting.