Don: Hi Doctor. Sorry to bother you at home like this.
Dr: No problem. It’s making a big gurgling sound and the Gullickson’s are coming over and you know how they are after a few glasses of wine so I want to make sure the hot tub is ready so …
Don: Oh, no sorry. It’s Don Rhymer.
Don: Don Rhymer? I’m a patient.
Dr: How did you get this number?
Don: You said I could call anytime.
Dr: Really? That doesn’t sound like me.
Don: Well, it was very comforting at the time.
Dr: Were you crying when I said it?
Dr: Then that explains it. I hate crying. You’re lucky I didn’t give you a pony. Call me tomorrow at the office when I have a four or five person buffer between us.
Don: Please, don’t hang up, it’s just that I have my last chemotherapy this week and I’m a little nervous.
Dr: Don’t be.
Don: That’s it? That’s the best you can do – “Don’t be?”
Dr: Don’t be… please? I don’t understand the point? Who is this again?
Don: Don Rhymer. Tongue cancer.
Dr: Oh, the homeless, alcoholic, snuff chewer?
Don: No. I’m none of those things.
Dr: Well, don’t beat yourself up about it, Mrs. Rhymer, you’re young, you have plenty of time.
Don: MISTER Rhymer… Look, don’t you have any advice for me?
Dr: Are you crying? I hear sniffling.
Don: No. I’m not crying.
Don: Never mind. I’m sorry to bother you.
Dr: “Your inner strength will carry you through even the darkest of nights.”
Don: Wow. Really? Um, thanks Doctor, that’s actually…
Dr: I know it’s a rip-off, it’s not even a fortune. And the cookie is stale….
Don: So you were just reading a… good night Doctor.
Dr: Yeah, you sure you don’t know how to fix a Jacuzzi? I’ll give you 25 percent off your next pap smear…