Posted by: donrhymer | September 14, 2010

In Closing…

Wow, blogging two days in a row. This brings back memories. I can almost smell the chemotherapy.

It’s been a month or so since I ended treatment. The first few weeks were not pleasant. Trying to lighten the mood with my evil Oncologist I asked her…

“How about putting me in one of those induced comas and waking me up  a few months?”

She stared at me blankly…

“Seems medically impractical.”

Yeah, she’s a real corker. For those of you that have asked, I’m walking, talking, drinking the occasional martini even eating. Eating yes, tasting…. Not so much.

My wife Kate’s favorite game is “guess what this is?” She crams something in my mouth and I have to guess.

“Mango?”

“Close… it’s a veal cutlet.”

She’s been shoving a lot of food at me lately trying to get my weight up. I went to buy some post cancer treatment pants the other day and the only thing I could find that fit were a pair of Toughskins from Sears.

So, I think I am just going to keep wearing my fat pants and hitching them up with a rope belt.

It’s been great seeing people again, apparently in the last month I’ve been more of a recluse than I realized. I think people are not quite sure what to say to me, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to say something. Some of my favorites…

“You look good, I was expecting you to look all Holocausty.”

“God, you lost a lot of weight. But I’m sure you’ll gain it back. Hopefully, not all of it of course.”

“So glad you’re wearing pants. It was weird to see you wandering around all day in pajama bottoms.”

“Last time I saw you, you were stoned on vicodin… you never took vicodin? Wow, you were sicker than I thought.”

“Don’t worry, they can fix that scar. Oh, this is the fixed version?”

Thanks to you all for indulging my ramblings during my summer of discontent. It was a hellish ride, but I appreciate everyone’s calls, cards, thoughts, prayers, fruit of the month club and offers to introduce me to your Chinese herbalist and healer.

In large and small ways you all brought me through this summer and I am eternally grateful.

Who knows… maybe soon I’ll get a horrible mental illness and keep blogging through my nervous breakdown.

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Responses

  1. I like your oncologist. I think I once got notes from her at a network meeting.

  2. You’re from the Carolina’s! Just grab your overalls. Pants, suspenders; all in one! It evens has a pocket in the front for one of those fancy cell phone-thingies.

  3. …so are you done with the blog? If so, come out and say it. If not, this will still be checked on in-between visits to porn sites, and random conspiacy theory messege boards. Cancer? A government plot I tell ya!

  4. Speechless…I don’t know what to say since we hadn’t really been in touch since a month after Lanai and had no idea this all was going on. Beyond having the utmost admiration for what you’ve gone through over this hellish summer, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this entire blog in the last 15 minutes. Your email directed me hear and I actually had to read your email twice thinking and remembering you that maybe this email was a sick joke. I will be in touch soon through email but wanted to make sure you knew I read through all of your posts and have been completely enlightened and jolted for the first time in a while. Waiting for the next jolt which will be October 15 when the baby girl is due.

  5. Don maybe you can invent “Taste-a-Rama” and make a video game out of “What’s this?”.

  6. Sorry about the scar remark but I’m thrilled to make the blog. Hope the ol pep is coming back. is it over, or do we keep checking? the blog, I mean!

  7. Sorry about the scar comment but very proud I made the blog! Hope the ol pep is coming back. Let us know if there’s more posts coming. Mu.

  8. You need to blog more about your Angry Bird fixation. Have you downloaded Super Mega Worm????

  9. Glad to hear you are doing better. Pam told us you left her a message, just to say hello…no emergency, no tragedy..just to talk. Priceless!

  10. so glad you’re blogging again! see you in a week and a half!

  11. Umm. Has Don abandoned us? What will I do now?
    How will I laugh? I guess it’s good news that he’s on to other things – GO DON GO

  12. Don, this is some of your best work yet! Too bad you had to get so sick to bring it out. What now Disney Land? Must admit I do feel a little cheated. Reading all the posts at once is like getting an entire season on DVD and wizzing through it. There is much more drama or in your case humor getting fed a little at a time. No surprise to me about how well you did and are doing. Blessings my friend!

  13. Thinking this whole thing was just a ruse to try out your new idea for a sitcom on unsuspecting friends who were ready to feel sad/empathetic while reading this blog but instead burst into loud guffaws at inappropriate times. Well, it totally worked so you better just march on over to your local ( in LA they’re local) agent and announce you have your funniest material yet. Especially funny to sick-o medical workers who laugh at inappropriate stuff all the time.


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