Posted by: donrhymer | October 11, 2012

Good News and Bad News? No, it’s Mostly Bad.

When last we checked in with Don’s Cancer, Don went in for surgery number six to repair an unhealed open wound in his neck left over from surgery number five. Now, a couple weeks after surgery number six Don has TWO open wounds in his neck.

Not the result he was looking for. To add insult to injury a new lump behind the ear turned out to be cancerous and a spot on the neck as well. So, this particular surgery was totally a bummer…  as opposed to all the other surgeries that were a stone gas.

Doctors are now debating a possible surgery number seven and talking clinical trials for experimental drugs. All in all, not a great couple of weeks for Don. But if I may mix western slang and military euphemisms…. we continue to cowboy up and soldier on.

There is one school of thought to hold off on additional surgery so that we can move forward right away with a clinical trial.

Right now, there are two clinical trials being discussed, both in phase one. One has had about 34 participants; the other as of now, I would be patient number one. That’s right I would be the first. Apparently, they have exhausted their testing on rats and monkeys and have decided that the next best control group is aging comedy writers. A little scary to be sure, but they have assured me that while yes, some of the rats given the drug did explode on contact, that almost never happened with the monkeys.

More calls and appointments with Doctors and physical therapists and “wound” specialists and we’ll figure it out.

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Thanks for hanging in there with us.

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Responses

  1. So a monkey a rat and an aging comedy writer walk into a bar… Really shouldn’t make me laugh when I’m feeling so badly for you… Love you man- hang in there. B.

  2. Did you specifically tell the surgeon you wanted one LESS wound on your neck, and not one more? A “wound doctor” might think wounds are cool and so assume you’d want as many as possible.
    Also, on the clinical trails, how many medicated rats would you have to swallow? I know from personal experience it’s hard to keep down more than nine rats.
    Lastly, you are a strong man, Don Rhymer. I saw you face-down Burt Reynolds and he was meaner than cancer.

  3. I guess this means more gluten free muffins are coming your way. What’s that number again?

    Keep the good stuff coming, it keeps us strong.

  4. 100%/A+ ‘tude, man. It’s what you got to wear and allows me for the first time in our relationship to tell you you look great. So, here’s lookin’ at you, kid.

  5. This is so typical. Cancers always jump the shark around surgery 6 or 7.

  6. First the Dodgers and now this – say it isn’t so……….

  7. After reading your blog, I went over and read Don’s Cancer’s blog. Predictably, he was pretty full of himself. “I hid behind Don’s ear, and when the doctor came at me, I jumped out, put on my best Arnold impression, and yelled ‘I AM a tumor!'” I can’t wait for you to take this creep down a peg.

  8. Ah, the third act misdirect! This is where we see the hero up against it only to turn the tables and come out victorious. Cue John Williams and then make us cry Don — in a GOOD way! We are with you!

  9. Don: You are funny AND you have some funny friends (see comments from blog entries). Laughing helps…..just ask Joe Biden. Love to you and Kate!

  10. A pre-clinical trial cocktail party is in order. I’ll make Don a virgin carrot and ginger beverage. A double lemon drop martini would probably just hit the spot for Kate.

  11. Ah yes. The aging comedy writers clinical trial – a true double blind study! Praise the Lord and pass the pre-beta ammunition – soldier on, Don. Oh, you may want to look up “The Military Bronies” speaking of mixing western slang and military euphemisms.

  12. Thank goodness, you are not a rat, that could be nasty!! We are praying for you. Janet (Celeste’s sister)

  13. Some of my best friends are monkeys. You’re in good company. I love you, Don.

  14. I know how you hate sentiment, but any more of these entries and I will be forced to be sentimental – and you know how messy that can be. Do us both a favor and just beat the hell out of this thing and save my wife having to rescue me from a room filled with used tissues and the sounds of Barbra. Love and prayers.


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