We’ve got a big weekend coming up. Tomorrow, February 23rd, would be my dad’s 52nd birthday, and Sunday night is the Oscar telecast. It will be a weekend loaded with Don Rhymer memories, so we’re on high alert, threat level midnight, bracing for impact.
The only weekends I can recall getting this much hype and strategy are those when a hurricane is headed toward New York. Flee the city! Buy in bulk! Fill your bathtub! It’s terrifying, but there’s an inescapable feeling that all that Chef Boyardee may be for nothing. Storms don’t take aim. It’s often just a matter of being on the unlucky side of a river.
Personally, I over-prepare every single time. I panic-rent Zipcars. I take unruly amounts of bottled water to my girlfriend and her roommate. I determine it’s not safe in their apartment and bring them to mine. I realize nobody’s safe at my apartment so I arrange for us all to stay with a friend. I buy aerobeds then leave them at the friend’s house. You get the idea. You don’t want to be around me when I think there’s a storm approaching.
This week I found my compulsion for preparedness took a bizarre form- I made a video. It’s short and frankly, stupid, but I wanted there to be some way to remember my dad that wasn’t dangerous or depressing. He had very little time for things that depressed him.
Above is a short reel of all my dad’s movies smashed into two minutes of fond memories and bird jokes, a survival kit of sorts. Most of you will make it through this weekend unscathed but for a few sad moments, and some of us are in for some serious water damage.
I can’t board up everyone’s windows or hold all of your hands, (I would try if there weren’t so damn many of you) but I can give you this dumb youtube video I made. If you’re hosting an oscar party, show this to the people around you and toast Don Rhymer. His name won’t be mentioned in the telecast, but please don’t make snarky remarks about it on his behalf. Hundreds of hard-working people with long entertainment careers die every year and the Oscars have time for thirty of them. (Insert your favorite Agent Cody Banks 2 joke here).
In any case, let’s just be glad we’re not watching the Oscar Funeral Spectacular this weekend. We’ve had quite enough funerals at our house, thank you very much.
Good luck this weekend, and Godspeed to all of you.