WE REGRET TO INFORM YOU
Due to circumstances beyond our control (laziness, lack of inspiration, an all encompassing malaise), there will be no Rhymer Christmas Letter this year.
Yes, we are aware of the worldwide ramifications. The fall of the Yen, the drop in the NASDAQ, the inevitable coup in Thailand, (seriously, the Rhymer Christmas Letter is HUGE in Thailand), but it just didn’t happen this year. Oh, sure we could have come up with something. Several options were discussed. A Rhymer “Pop-Up” book received much consideration, but this idea was quickly shelved when Carrie suggested a “Dad’s Pop-Up Love Handle” page. We talked about designing a Rhymer Christmas Letter website… but since we still haven’t quite gotten the hang of email we decided that was a little ambitious. We even discussed releasing a full trilogy of Rhymer Christmas Letters complete with twelve pages of commentary, behind the scenes footage and deleted scenes, but let’s face it the Rhymers are barely interesting enough for one page. So it was left up to me… and I have failed you all.
So, without a letter we will not be talking about the girls. Molly, now a junior in high school, reader of great books, champion of independent film and edging herself ever closer to driving. And Carrie, eighth grade, journalist, philanthropist and killer Napoleon Dynamite impressionist. Both are lively, energetic young women who fill our lives with music, dancing, and the occasional screaming battle over a missing cashmere sweater.
And since there sill be no Rhymer Christmas Letter we will also not be able to tell you that unfortunately, Andrew has run away from home. Well, he calls it “going away to college” but Kate considers it an abandonment. He just finished his first semester of film school at New York University. He loves New York, but is just realizing that they have this thing called “winter” there. A time of year when wearing board shorts and sandals to class results in something New Yorkers like to call “frostbite”.
Without a Rhymer Christmas Letter this year there will be no proper forum to brag about my wife. A woman who continues to inspire and surprise me. She’s taking on a bigger role in the National Charity League as well as trying to grow the calendar business by adding a second product, “A Year in the Life of Our Baby”. As long as she doesn’t try to add an actual baby, she can sell all the calendars she wants.
I trust the lack of a Rhymer Christmas Letter will leaving a gaping hold in your holiday. I expect marriages will crumble, many of you will turn to the drink. But rest assured a new day will dawn, there will be growth in the spring, and next year I’ll start the letter in July. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, ad God’s blessings to you all.