I’ve been meaning to post a few letters, but have been a little busy getting ready for Christmas. A little shopping, a little decorating, and LOTS of baking. That’s been my coping mechanism this year – I may gain twenty pounds by January 1!
Here’s a letter from 2002. Hope you’re enjoying them.
There’s no Rhymer Christmas letter this year. As many of you know I usually get one of the kids to write the letter, but negotiations with Carrie broke down over the foreign distribution rights. However, minutes before we went to press, I was able to rip a few pages out of our family diary so hopefully this will bring you up to date.
January 6th – Construction on the new education annex and Rhymer mediaplex finally complete. Don makes agreement with Molly that if he continues to pretentiously call it a “mediaplex” he will be forced to drive a ten penny nail through his right thigh.
March 1st – Carrie breaks finger in suspicious “bounce house” incident. Forced to compensate, she learns to write with her left hand and apply eye shadow with her toes. Or at least that’s what it looks like to us.
April 12th – Despite a joint resolution from both Houses, Molly finally gives up on the eight year “bang” experiment. Tearful press conference ends as bangs are hermetically sealed and sent to the Smithsonian. Traveling exhibition plans are scrapped when bangs are inadvertently knitted into a sweater.
June 31st – Realizing June has only 30 days, all Rhymer accomplishments on this day including cold fusion, the cure for the common cold and the cancellation of all television shows involving Emeril are invalidated.
October 9th – During a crucial water polo match, Andrew is suddenly drug to the bottom of the pool by the weight of his hair. Play continues after a team of NASA engineers develop proper counter measures.
October 20 – Carrie brokers peace in the Middle East, but again that phony Jimmy Carter takes all the credit.
November 1st – “Santa Clause 2” opens. Don gets writing credit along with three fourths of the lunch crowd at Jerry’s Deli. Receives his share of the bonus money, but immediately loses it in the cushions of the new couch in the mediaplex.
Thanksgiving – Rhymer family extravaganza to New York City! Published reports to the contrary, we were NOT asked to leave. But as Andrew discovered, the Broadway cast of “Oklahoma!” does not consider it helpful when you jump on stage and join in on “The Farmer and the Cowman”.
December 8 – Kate contemplates starting a new business with Kathy Gallagher. Initial excitement wanes when full ramifications of sweatshop laws are examined.
Again, our apologies, and finger’s crossed, we’ll be back in the Christmas letter business next year. We hope the coming days bring your family much excitement and joy. May the Lord bless you and your family in 2003!